Right? Or happy?

“Would you rather be right or happy?” Wayne Dyer

I remember these words echoing in my ears.  What?  That made no sense.  If I was right, it was very important that others understand this, and know that they were wrong!  Geez, after all, if I were wrong, I’d want to know, right?

Wrong.

Being right or wrong actually has nothing to do with being right or wrong.  It has to do with being good; good enough.

The need to be right may be an indication that we are not feeling so great about ourselves.  We think that being right makes us better, and when they are wrong, they are not as good as we are, and that also makes us better.  If they are right, we must be wrong, and then we’re not as good anymore.  Pride and ego are what make it imperative to be right!

Needing to be right may also mean that we have some fear about changing a belief.

When we find ourselves stuck in a powerful belief system, we don’t want to know that we’re wrong – because that means changing how we think about the world.  Changing how we think about the world can be one of the scariest things we ever do.

A truly open mind is not afraid of being wrong, because to hear other points of view helps to expand our awareness.

Arguing with someone about whether we’re right, or they’re wrong, is a waste of energy and time, and most often ends up in frustration.  After all, when was the last time you convinced someone to change their way of thinking by arguing with them?

Of course some things we know we’re right about, and we need to stand by that.  Don’t ingest a bottle of medicine, don’t jump off a bridge, don’t give out your social security number over the phone. Of course we should maintain our position on certain things, but those things are never in the majority.

Choosing to be happy instead of being right means you have an opportunity to accept someone for who they are, and focus instead on what you like about them rather than your differences.

Arguing is exhausting, and most often gets us nowhere.  And there are more important things in life than being right; holding hands with someone I love and sharing a chocolate shake, even if I would have preferred strawberry, will always be way better than arguing.

Stone is meant to hold its ground.  When we become like stone to stay right, we lose our softness, our gentleness, and our ability to see with the eyes of love.